Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I need my chill pill

When we were trying to get pregnant, and all eyes were on me, that was stressful. Everyone around would be as anxious (if not more) every time I go see Dr F for review during the IVF process.

And now that we are finally there, the stress level has moved on to a different level! As if it's not stressful enough that you are not allowed eat certain food, do certain things, or even watch movies that I have been waiting for... of all people, my mom would practically breath down my neck stressing me out. Ever since the day we got news, she is practically checking on me every day! I am totally fine and I don't need all the checking all the time like if I had my breakfast, or if I'm asleep or if I'm having my meds (Cyclogest).

As it is my hormone is raging, I don't need all these unnecessary stress. I call it unnecessary because this is gonna make me tensed by answering the same thing over and over again. If ever there is anything out of the norm, I would tell my parents or my sis. So there is no need to check on me ALL the time!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Constipation

I know the title is gross but I think it's a very common problem for most pregnancy. I forgot to ask Dr F if I can take the laxative he gave me before. In the mean time, I rely on apple juice. Seems to work for now.

I read about eating fibrous food (vege & fruits) but it's not that effective compare to apple juice. I tried oranges but it gave me a nasty indigestion after that. Oh ya besides constipation, constipation/heart burnt seems normal. So far I only had once which is after the oranges so I skip oranges totally from then on.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Painful cramp

Last night I woke up from my sleep suddenly coz I had this sudden sharp pain (near my uterus area). I was so scared that I will have a miscarriage. But I remember Dr F said as long as there is no bleeding or it's not constant pain them it's alright. I tried to wake my deep sleep hubby to tell him but he was really dead asleep!! So I cringed and turned to my side to sleep and I felt much better.

This morning as I used the bathroom, I can't help but scrutinising every inch of my panty making sure there is no bleeding. I must confess... I kept touching my belly (since Wednesday) to find or to feel for any sign of my growing lil' fellas inside of me. So far no luck... last night I tried really hard to see if there is (are) new sign that they are growing. Of course nothing still...

I think I'm now on a hypersensitive mode comparing my body behavior if there will be any further changes or signs of miscarriage. Afterall, I'm still in the "danger zone" if first trimester. I certainly hope I'm just being paranoid.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Early Pregnancy Symptom

Is there really such as thing as early pregnancy symptom? I've read so many blogs about people having cramps, spotting, nausea, etc, even before the 2 week wait is over. I actually don't think it's real, at least not for me. I think having any symptoms during the 2 week wait is all in your head. You will feel every twitch happening down there, more so now than ever. It's probably happening every time before your period.

I have cramps but they are pretty much like premenstrual cramps, so how can one ever differentiate pregnancy cramp from premenstrual cramp really beats me. And the spotting, I too would experience the spotting once in a while prior to my period, so it doesn't count as any real pregnancy symptom to me, again.

Then I have lower backache, well, this is probably because I slept too much! HAHAHA!! So, to me this doesn't really count either...

So, there you go, I totally proved that there is no such thing as early pregnancy symptoms/hints whatever you want to call it.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I'm so excited

I'm still soaking on the good news that WE FINALLY MADE IT! I'm still feeling so excited and happy about it. I won't be announcing to my friends just yet until few more weeks. Well, you see we have lotsa old school Chinese believes that still lives on with us. And not telling people yet about our pregnancy till a few months into is one of it. I'm not quite sure why but the reason I'm going agree with this old school of thought is that my pregnancy is still very new and anything can happen.

Now that the fairy dust has settled, let me recollect what happen on one of the biggest day of my life!

This morning, hubby and I both woke up early because I need to get my blood tested. When I got up, I took another stick and did the test and is still positive. Great news I thought.

After our breakfast, hubby made me yummy half boiled egg, we were off to the clinic. While at the clinic, we decided to let me walk over to the Gribbles lab. Boy oh boy~ today my vein were on the shy side. The lab technician/nurse tried SOOOOO hard to find my vein. When she finally got it, my blood flow was really low and slow. In the end, she only managed 1unit instead of 3units of blood. She told me to wait while she put the blood sample to spin in the machine. I dreaded that she will have to do it again. After about 5 minutes, she said ok. Phew! What a relief!!

Before heading home, we decided to make a pit stop at BMW to pay up Hubby's car down payment and received news that my Mini Countryman is not available in Black. I had to choose between red and coffee. I avoided red and in the end we are getting the red.

Then we got home, and it's time for Cyclogest. I wanted to take a nap but in the end I didn't. Maybe too excited about the result that my brain was too active and cannot be shut down.

Ok... here to go... the moment of truth. When we arrived back at the clinic at about 1.30pm, there was no other patient. Good so my turn is up soon then. When we went into Dr F room, no facial expression from him. As he flipped through my chart and showed me my blood test I saw 563!!!!! We all let out a sign of relief and maybe some cheers:) 563 is WAY better than 4!! I confessed to Dr F that I couldn't resist it and did the stick. Hahahaha he promptly said "I knew it!" with a laugh. We all laughed. Yaye!! So happy. Dr F told me to return in 2 weeks and by then we can tell how many. but 563 is hard to tell if it's single or multiple. If it's at 1000 then higher chances of getting multiple pregnancy. He prescribed me with more Cyclogest, Progynova, Calcium pills an Folic Acid pills.

As my name was called by the nurse to pick up my meds, they were just as excited as me. I'm sure they are as nervous as me! This time we left the clinic- PREGNANT! Yaye!!!!!

FINALLY!!

Yes! Yes! Yes!!!! :) Coming back to see Dr F again in 2 weeks!

The wait is over

Today is the end of my 2 week wait. I didn't have much problem like cramps or indigestion, only a tiny thread of spotting. But last night, after Cyclogest, I got my first cramp- similar to a premenstrual cramp. I was hoping for no cramping throughout the 2 week wait. I'm not sure... if maybe it's just me being nervous. I will most certainly check with Dr F later.

As soon as I got up, I did the stick again- just to be sure. Still keeping my hopes and not too high, I'm afraid it could end up otherwise.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Tomorrow is near

Yeap tomorrow is tomorrow!!! 23 March is finally here. I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

I must confess... I have been very anxious and scared at the same time that we are gonna get a negative. So I asked hubby to grab a pee stick from the pharmacy. We just want to know early- I did it yesterday morning (Day 13 after ET) and I suspected that the Proluton might still have an effect in me.

So I asked hubby to get another pack after work yesterday. This morning I sneaked into the bathroom with another stick in my hand... I still think the Proluton might have an influence on the test result. Now I'm wondering if I use use the last one tomorrow morning.

What if the blood test result is disappointing? I am not getting my hopes up overly high just yet...

Sunday, March 20, 2011

I see spot

Since last night I thought I saw a (literally) dot of spot and I thought to myself must my paranoia.

Then just after lunch, I came back up to rest and went to he bathroom and realised it's now more than a spot.

(Sorry if this is TMI) You see I had my Cyclogest at 11am and it's bound to have some residue. So I can see among the residue some faint diluted brownish stain among the residue left in my pantyliner. (I always wear pantyliner because I don't want to have the Cyclogest residue staining my panty)

I started to Google- stain/spotting during 2 week wait after IVF, brown spot after IVF, stain after IVF, symptoms during 2 week wait... I came up with so many key words for the Google search. Some how because my heart yearns for good news, it seems normal to have spotting. I read that some people still get pregnant even after experiencing spotting during the 2 week wait.

But some how all these answers (albeit good news), I dread that this is gonna be another failed attempt.

Well, to keep my hopes high... as long as I have not have my period then there is still hope in my 4 tiny (hopefully growing) embryos, right?

Saturday, March 19, 2011

I wanna pee

Everyday I have my Cyclogest at 11am and 11pm. After which I have to stay im bed for an hour. I try not to drink too much water so I won't have the urge to go to toilet within the hour.

But today I woke up later than usual and had my breakfast at about 10+ (normally is by 8.30am). I had my usual half-boiled eggs, Milo and some water. Since most of them are quite "liquified" I now have the super urge to use the little girls room!! It's another 20 minutes to go!!! Oh gosh!

Cramp-like feeling

I woke up in the middle of the night again to pee and feeling hungry. This is happening on and off.

Tonight, an "extra" feelings came about- sort of the cramp-like feeling you get before you period. I don't like this feeling. It kinda dashes my hope. I have been hoping that I don't get this feeling because this could mean my period is coming. And I don't want it to come!

I had earlier read blogs that they got the same cramp-like feeling and still got pregnant but the happiness is mostly short-lived. But some forum suggested it's all normal. Sigh. This is the reason why I stopped reading all these blogs and forums.

It's 5 more days til the end of he 2 week wait. After feeling the cramp like this, I will be extra careful while getting out of bed, going down the stairs and walking around at turtle speed (if there is anything slower than this, I'm that speed!)

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Oh it's only a week

How I wish today is the day when I go back to the clinic for blood test.

So far I have been experiencing so many my-so-called symptoms and I don't even know if any of them is tell-tale sign:

- Constipation: I had this the last time. I used to do my business every morning but since the transfer day, it has be sporadically once in a few days. But as of last weekend, I think I'm back to once a day! Yippee!

- Bloated: I remember vaguely that during the last cycle my tummy was bloated because Dr F said my ovaries were still swollen and I had mild cramps. This time, I feel less bloated than before even from the beginning, much lesser now that it was been a week. It's weird that I felt less
bloated and I produced more fertilised egg than before. I read other bloga that people look like 4-months at this time of waiting but I don't. Since my daily motion is back to normal, I felt the tummy is smaller and no bloating at all. I seriously wonder if the Four are still with me, I'm worried to bits!!

- Fatigue: I have been feeling fine last week and I didn't need afternoon nap. But this week, I had to nap. I'm so tired! I used to wake up in the middle of the night for midnight wee and couldn't go back to sleep. But this week, either no midnight pee or even waking up to pee, I could go back to sleep in a flash! (I wonder midnight pee is one of the symptoms :D)

- Cramps: During last cycle at this time, I had bad cramps until I had to go see Dr F (could be due to still enlarge ovaries). But this time, no so beside last Sunday where I felt tiny cramps here there but nothing alarming like before.

Well, I could be feeling different from last cycle because I am having Progynova- twice a day. I didn't have them before. The meds basically helps produce Estradiol - a sex hormone. And it's introduced to assist in thickening of lining of my uterus. (As told by the nurse) I actually have no idea why must the lining be thicker!! Gotta ask Dr F when I see him next week.

One more week to go!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Gonna stop reading blogs on IVF

I've been reading all sorts of things and blogs about IVF journeys certainly top the list. I was hoping to find some answers in these blogs- how to improve my chances of success in IVF, what's the symptoms that could mean positive results, etc.

I guess reading these blogs are just gonna make my anxiety explode soon! It's worse when you read that I'm not feeling pregnant like them or I don't have the symptoms like some of those successful cases. So I have decided to stop reading all these blogs during my 2 week wait.

Ah~ the 2 week waiting is just killing me! I now know how my nephew felt when we told him, "We bought your Christmas present" two weeks before Christmas! Haha!

Terrible Indigestion

On Day 6 of the 2 week wait, I had my first indigestion. The pain was on and off and when it was on time, the pain woke me up from my sleep. Today it's payback time- gonna sleep through the day catching up on my beauty sleep debt.

Monday, March 14, 2011

It's not even a week yet!

This 2-week wait is really going by so slowly!! I did the transfer last Wednesday and it has been 6 days, not even a week yet!

Over the last few days, my routine has been:
8.00am- Waking Up
8.30am- Awesome breakfast made by Hubby!
After breakfast, I would go back to bed and rest. I read or surf on my iPhone or watch 1-2 episodes of HK TVB drama.
11.00am- Cyclogest. Then stayed in bed for at least an hour
12.00pm- If I didn't doze off during Cylogest or else it will be whenever I woke up by hunger
For the whole afternoon, I would watch more HK TVB dramas. After day 2, I didn't have anymore afternoon nap for fear that I will not be able to sleep at night.
6.00pm- Dinner
After dinner, sit around until about 7.30pm-8.00pm then I will head upstairs to shower. After that, I would normally surf the net again until time for meds
11.00pm- Cylogest again. After this I will always fall asleep.

Well, that pretty much sums up my routine- except on Sunday when we all went to church.

So far, I have some constipation issue but it's slowly coming back to it's supposed form - I hope! Then yesterday (Sunday, 13/3), I've got a bit of cramps located all around- sometimes near both ovaries area, sometimes the uterus area. I don't know what should I made out of it. It came for a very short while in the afternoon only. Sigh~ I wish I know for sure that it's ok and that it's normal. I really am hoping for all the embryos to survive and stay with me till the end!!

Hey you four in there, stay strong for me ya~

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Bliss of being pampered

I am soaking in all the bliss of being pampered by hubby! I'm enjoying every moment :)

For now, hubby will make me breakfast first thing in the morning. Even the simplest half-boiled egg is the yummiest meal on earth. I will have it in the room while hubby gets ready my lunch for me :) I won't expect hubby to make me sophisticated meals but bread with sausages will do just fine. Again the lunch is brought up to the room for me. Hubby will pack my lunch in a Tupperware and leave it by my bedside. He would then get ready for work and I would wait for 11am for my Cyclogest.

Why am I having my meal in the room? Everyone is limiting me from going up an down the stairs, that's why! I would want to go up and down the flight of stairs more than this so at least I could have some form of light movement/exercise! Unfortunately... even Dr F said it's fine, no one would listen to him!!!

Well, I'll just have to be a good girl for now. At least I get the bliss of being pampered :)

And there are four of them

Yesterday before the transfer, we meet up with Dr F to talk a bit about the embryos. I was so happy to hear that there are four of them. I would expect Dr F to say let's try 2 and keep 2. He unexpectedly told us to proceed with FOUR!!! Oh my! I have no idea how to react to this.

He said the chances of someone carrying all four to full term is one is twenty. That makes 5%. Ok thats not a very big chances. And that since we tried three before and didn't get any result, let's give four a try.

If by any chance, all four survived the early stage, there is still chances that one or two or maybe even three will not survive. And if all survived and my body is unable to carry them, he might advice terminal of one or two depending on the healthiness of the embryos. Oh wow! I certainly don't want that to happen. I would be happy if all four survived!

And so after a short discussion with Dr F, four is it.

The procedure again depends on how my bladder filled up. The embryos transfer must be done in a full bladder. Once the bladder is full, then Dr F is able to see the lining properly to implant embryos.

Today is he day my bladder decided to fill up slower than usual. I waited inside the operating theatre for one whole hour!! Oh gosh. it was agonising that each time the nurse can in to scan my bladder when the pressed the ultrasound onto my almost full bladder.

At 4pm, it's finally time. The nurses prepared me for the procedure- clean my very private (but soooo exposed) part, strapped my legs, cover my upper body with the blanket, and put this weird looking I-have-no-idea-what-extender-like-clamp on my private (but entirely open for all to see) part. Dr F came in and did a quick scan, acknowledged the biologist about having 4 embryos transfer. And he poke something into me. I can't see nor feel anything. The lights were off. I tried to look at the reflection from the light box right on top of me, but I couldn't see a thing without my glasses!!

When Dr F said it's done, I looked at the clock, it's 4.25pm. Now I had to stay on the operating table for another hour.

The nurse gave me 2 jabs and after that I was allowed to finally pee- while still on the operating table. Feels weird peeing on your back!!!

And so, here goes the story of 4 healthy embryos growing in me.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Blissful Wednesday

This afternoon I am due to check into the clinic again for the embryo transfer. And today also mark the first day of the Lent Season. He overcame all the temptations, sufferings, died, buried and he rose again on Easter. All the needles jab is nothing compare to His. I shall prevail!!!! I shall overcome this!!!

What a way to start my day. Hubby woke up earlier than usual to prepare breakfast for me. I had 2 eggs and 3 slices of bread. It may be the simplest meal to prepare, but I'm grateful and soaking in the bliss ^^

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The clinic CALLED!!!

I just received the call from the clinic that the embryo transfer is scheduled for tomorrow (Wed, 9th March). We've got to be at the clinic at 3pm, and the procedure should be at around 4pm.

After putting down the phone only I remembered to ask the nurse if I still need to insert the Cylogest and have the oral meds. Nurse said I should still have my oral med only and they will insert the Cylogest after the procedure. Alrighty... Here we go~

Sleepy head

It's been a day since the procedure of retrieval, and I'm now at home waiting for the clinic to call if I should go back on Wednesday or Thursday for the implant.

Yesterday we arrived at the clinic at around 9.45am, we didn't want to be late so we were 15 minutes early. We waited like FOREVER outside. I wondered why they didn't prep me earlier inside the ward area. Anyway, we were "checked in" at about 10.50am. I changed to my backside exposing gown (yes, I hate that gown) and had my last pee. At this time, it's already 11.15am, and I was curious why hadn't they asked hubby for his specimen. When the surgical nurse said I should move to the operation room, I asked why wasn't hubby's specimen taken. Then only she asked the other nurse why hasn't it done. Gosh! Thank goodness this is my second time!

When I got onto the cold, air-con blowing operating table, I checked the time again. 11.20am. It was getting cold, I tried to wrap the thermal blanket around my body to keep myself warm - though I know by the time I knocked out they would lift it up again. Then the nurse came to me and put some monitoring equipment on me and tried to - get the needle in for the IV. GREAT! I was pretty sure that with me feeling so freaking cold, surely the veins are going into hiding! And boy oh boy, they are ALL in deep hiding. 2 nurses tried 3 times, nothing... So before long the anesthesia doctor came and did it in ONE poke! Yaye~ I remember saying THANK YOU to him! Haha!

This time the anesthesia doctor is a different one, so even his method is slightly different. After inserting the IV needle, he gave me a jab on antibiotic (he told me so) and then gave me the oxygen mask to breath. Ah~ clean oxygen. It's cooling and clean. Haha! He then gave me the anesthesia via the IV, he told me to keep my eyes open. During which, I said a short prayer and before I can say Amen, I'm down~

When I started to have consciousness, I can hear the nurses talking in a distance. I tried to shake away the dizziness, and tried to move myself but the anesthesia was still very much in control of me. I tried to sleep it off for a while, but it was getting cold. After a couple of minutes, I got better control of myself and I could turn my head and saw the clock was 12.30pm. I think about 5 more minutes, I was ok and could walk myself back to the ward. As I got to the bed, I told hubby I'm cold. So he grabbed the other thermal blanket from the other bed for me + the shawl that I brought along with me.

I rested for about 1.5 hours, and I'm all good and wide awake already. I told hubby we can go now, and that I wanted to go back and sleep on our Heavenly Bed :) Nurse dispensed me one oral medication, and my more dreadful vee-jay-jay Cylogest. Both are to be consumed twice a day, with the Cylogest to be inserted at 11am and 11pm sharp daily. And off we go~

We went to pack lunch - it's already 3pm! Famish me but then when I got home, I couldn't eat much. I could still taste the anesthetic meds in my mouth! Eww, what a taste! I had a little bun with a cup of milo (though I didn't finish the milo) and went to bed. Yawn~ sleepy head needs to rest.

I slept through dinner, so hubby had to pack dinner for me again. I had soupy food, as I wasn't sure if I will have nauseating feeling after food.

Then at 11pm, my first Cyclogest - like before, hubby will do the night job for me :) After inserting it, I will have to be bedridden for at least an hour. Before the hour is up, I fell asleep soundly already :) Sleepy head!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Here we go

I had my medication at 11pm and that really gave my bowel a run for the money! Boy oh boy! I've got so much poop in me?

It's 9am now and I'm all ready. I'm feeling fine, except that my stomach feels empty but it's got lots of movement still!! Oh gosh, the pills really works. I don't remember having so much movement the last time I had those tiny pills.

We need to be at the clinic by 10am. And the procedure will proceed by 11.30am.

I'll be back!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Last shot before the pick-up

Alright. Finally it's time for the last jab. The nurse reminded me over and over again this morning to remember to jab at 11pm SHARP! Making sure I don't miss the window!

Basically this last jab is to make me ovulate in the next 36hours. That is why is it timed as such at by Monday 11am, the timing is perfect for the egg pick up. So here goes!!

Monday Is It

My 3 follicles are now healthy and ready for pick up on Monday! They now ranges in size from 19-21mm. In fact, there are 2 tiny ones appearing on the left. However the right one is still the lone ranger and though a lone ranger is the tiniest of the 3.

So stay tune folks! :)

Friday, March 4, 2011

It's almost time

Well, it's almost time for round 2 for now I can only relax and make sure that I follow my timetable for jabs. Tonight's jab was exceptionally painful than normal. I wonder if I could have done it wrong, or my tummy is telling me that she's got enough of needles for now and needs some TLC and rest. Hopefully not long more to go.

However, I feel less "bloated" as before. I remember last time I felt more "stretched" than now. As of now the bloated feelings come and go, and tonight I'm feeling a bit of a back pain. I hope this is just temporary.

Tomorrow, we are gonna head out early hoping to book the first slot to see Dr F. He's getting more popular and there are more people now than ever to see him! So nitey nite y'all!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Unexpected Growth

On our way to Dr F, we discussed that if there is no improvement and it's just one, we are not sure if we should still proceed. The atmosphere in the car was a bit solemn...

Then when we reached the clinic, there was only one couple ahead of us. As we sat and waited for our turn, I told hubby, "If we have more than 2 we shall proceed." He agreed.

So when it's our turn, Dr F would ask me to get ready for the follicle scan. And I must say I was ready and prepared for the not so good news... When Dr F "poked" into the left, I can almost instantly see 2 big black dots!!! I guess I had that instant glow in my face when I see the 2 follicles. Though they are black, at that moment, I swear they are GLOWING!! HAHAHA...Then he scanned the right, one big black dot. There were other stuff not so obvious dots and grey matters which is not important to me at that time, for all I care, I want to see solid black round dots :) For the first time, Dr F asked hubby to come in and see the scan. He showed us the one on the right which is about 16mm, the 2 on the left 14mm and 15mm each. Then there is one more tiny one of the left which Dr F said too tiny - which we all ignored.. HAHAHA... all we wanted to see is the sold black round dots :)

After I got dressed up and sat down, Dr F said that it's good and let's proceed! YES YES YES!! Hooray! He looked at the chart and said, "Looks like the pick up date is going to be on Monday." Hubby and I went "Monday!!!" That gave Dr F a good fright with both our exclamation.. hahahah... he thought we had something else urgent planned. Well, we were both just too excited that it's happening so soon! Hahaha...

So Monday is pick up means Wednesday is implanting date. Before confirming Monday is the pick up, Dr F said to come back to see him on Saturday to make sure everything goes on as planned. If all is good on Saturday means pick up is Monday! Yaye!!

I will continue my Puregon and Menopur until tomorrow, and Buserelin until Saturday morning.

I thank God for His strength to get us through, thanking Him also for the "little pat" He laid His hands upon and that they grow healthily.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Left or Right?

Every morning at 8.30am, I will have 0.02cc of Buserelin, then 150IU of Menopur and 400IU of Puregon. Then at 8.30pm I will have another 0.02cc of Buserelin again.

I have to alternate the Menopur & Puregon, one of the left and the other on the right. Since the Puregon is easier to jab, wherever Puregon goes, Buserelin will go.

So the routine will be:
Mon Morning (L) Buserelin & Puregon (R) Menopur
Mon Night (R) Buserelin
Tue Morning (L) Menopur (R) Buserelin & Puregon
Tue Night (L) Buserelin
Wed, Thurs, Fri... you get the idea.

How do I keep track which is where?

Since I'll have Buserelin 2 a day, I decided to keep track by swapping my diamond ring. Well, the wedding band will never move, so the diamond ring is it. Whenever I have my Buserelin, I will put the diamond ring on that hand. If I see that the diamond ring in on the left hand at night means, I had the Buserelin on the left in the morning. Therefore that night, I will have to jab Buserelin on the right.

Then in the morning, I see diamond ring on right means I had my Puregon + Buserelin on the left yesterday. So this morning will be Puregon + Buserelin will be on the right.

Ingenious right? :)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Bloated

Yesterday Dr F asked if I have any feeling of bloated tummy, I didn't have any at all. But this morning, as I sat down in the office, I suddenly felt bloated. I can feel my tummy skin stretches, and my lunch had yet to digest. I'm not sure if I'm up for dinner!

I even wonder if it was just be being psycho with myself to feel bloated. Well, bloated means good sign because that will mean I'm "follicle-ing" :D Or if it's because my 36-holes tummy is healing. I wonder~

Worst Pain Ever

Yesterday I had to do E2 blood test that measures the amount of a hormone called estradiol in the blood. Estradiol is the most important form of Estrogen found in our body. And this time the surgical nurse wasn't around to do it. So I was sent to the Gribbles lab located opposite the clinic. When I was there, the same lady came and saw me and kinda told her that her worst nightmare, i.e. ME, is back. True enough, it wasn't only her worst case, it was mine too.

At first it was on the left arm inside of my elbow, nothing. Even after she took out the needle, there isn't much blood that came after it. So failure number one. After which, she was contemplating. Right Arm - not good. Left (back of the) Hand vs Right (back of the) Hand - which has the bigger and more visible vein. She chose Right Hand. And so this humongous needle pierced through my skin right above my index finger. That was ok but the mother of all pain came when she tried to maneuver the needle inside to get the vein. The pain is no longer just surface pain, the kind of excruciating pain traveled up the nerve from my hand up my arm and into my whole body. It wasn't one time off! Every time she turned the needle, I felt the same pain traveling through my whole body. It was indescribable pain. Sigh, I had to go through this EACH time I had to do blood test.

And a day after that, this is what's left of it...