Tomorrow at this hour, I will be at the Dr F's clinic waiting for my result of blood test. I'm excited and dreaded at the same time. I kept telling myself, whatever the result, it's His will. He will give me strength to go through it. I have been saying the same prayer over and over again since the day of embryo transfer. Whatever the result, I will be thankful for what He has done. He has given me the strength to go this far, so I believe He will continue to give me strength to walk further.
I'm so worried that I'll have spotting that the first time I do when I am in the bathroom is, check my panty liner if it's clean! (I think that is part contributing to my fetish!) Each time it's clean, I'm so happy. If ever there is any spotting means not so good news and I would have been in a frantic and call hubby then the clinic to see if I can see Dr F NOW NOW NOW!!
I have been having minor neglectable cramps on and off. And today (since the morning I woke up), I had only felt once. Under normal circumstances when I'm on my normal cycle, this would mean I'm getting my period tonight or the next day. I hope this is not the case. Just one more day, and I will know if this is just me being paranoid. And again, under normal circumstance, I will have a bit of spotting yesterday and the period will come tomorrow. But I have no spotting, I guess this is comforting... I kept second guessing myself all the time if tomorrow will be positive or negative. Oh ONE MORE DAY!!!
That one more day is not easy to pass... I have been constantly checking out the time. So far my body is not giving me any hint of any sort and I think I read far too much stuff that is making nervous. I totally think I should stop readin this instant about infertility/pregnancy websites. From this moment one, I shall read about other stuff to take my mind off this nerve wrecking moment of truth!
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