My child is my own

Now that the baby has arrived, there is no right or wrong in the upbringing of my child. Every child is different. What worked on some, may not work on my little Andrew. Just like some babies will drink more milk than the others - it's all about individual growth rate.

I am with my baby all the time, I know what stimulates him, how he drinks his milk, his sleeping pattern, his sleep cycles, how to change his diapers, etc. I don't need to hear from others about how I should feed him, how I should bath him, how to train him this or that, etc. My child is my own. However he turns out to be in the future, he is mine.

I mean seriously... I didn't ask for opinion or advice, so please, let me go through the experience by ourselves. Let us learn together with the little one.

What are the odds?

There is a group of 6 of us, known as the Tung Zhi (同志) and Zhi Tung (志同). We sat together on my final year of high school (3 in a row).

I gave birth in November, next one is due in Feb, another due in April and another due in May! Which actually means that 4 out of us of us were pregnant at the same time! What are the odds! I mean we see pregnant women all the time but the 4 of the besties pregnant together?

It would have been great with we could meet up while still pregnant. But distance is the killer here, all four of us are located at different part of the world.

I would certainly hope that one day, our next generation will bring us together once again :)

Stretch Mark

Ah~ Stretch mark, one of the most dreadful thing that a pregnant woman feared the most. Though it is something cosmetic, it is unfortunately one of the most common "side effect" of pregnancy.

Mine did not appear until way after my half way mark if I remember correctly. In the beginning even way before my tummy started growing big, I had itch all over my tummy area - sign of stretching starting! So every day and night I would apply the Johnson & Johnson Baby Oil all over my tummy area - even my belly button! (Well not really me applying it, but Hubby did a good job)

As soon as I started to show, I changed the oil to Pigeon Stretch Mark cream - again Hubby would and is still applying for me, all over my tummy. Until one fine day after shower I realised that I'm getting some reddish bits at both side of my hip!!!! My first reaction was stretch mark, I thought it was some rashes or I scratched too much. I ignored them. BIG MISTAKE!!

After a couple of days, the red bits didn't go away. In fact, from the size/appearance of rashes, it got "longer." Oh no!!!!!!!!! They are Stretch Mark! Oh gosh... I never expect them to appear on my hip! I thought it's my tummy that had been and is still growing! Sigh. It was too late. I officially got stretch mark on both sides of my hip.

So reminder to all preggers out there, don't just apply your cream on your tummy. Remember your thigh, your hip, your buttock and some even around the boobs area! Though it is said that there is no 100% guarantee that the stretch mark prevention cream will work on you, but I find it helps. Because after shower when I apply then cream, I find that the redness subsides. Therefore, even if it's tiny bits of help, it's better than none right? So use stretch mark cream before it's too late!

Babymoon!

Yes! We planned for a little getaway for just the 2 of us, well, 3 technically speaking but he won't feel a thing throughout and he won't remember at all.

Next week is the mark of the next and final trimester! Yaye! We are on the home stretch now!! 20/11/2011 is gonna be the biggest day of our lives!

I know life will never be the same so it's time to celebrate just the two of us next week and enjoy the moment!

Happy Babymoon!!

Paranoid Me

Like all first time mummies, well maybe even experienced mummies, you can't help but feel paranoid if the baby is doing fine inside. You'll just never know what's going on with the little one side of you.

I have been feeling the baby's movement and kicks all the time. In fact, earlier on there is a rhythm going on! He will be kicking hard at around 11am or 12noon when I'm about to go for lunch, or around midnight when I'm about to go to sleep. But for the last 2 maybe 3 days, his kicks are no longer on time. He will kick anytime of the day whenever he wishes. But I still pretty felt his very strong and powerful kick or punch.

Then yesterday around lunch time, he wasn't really doing as much kick. If he doesn't kick up a storm around lunch, he would do it around dinner time. But diner came, dinner gone, still not much of a movement. Then I waited for his scheduled midnight exercise, still nothing. When I was sleeping on my side, which he usually hates and will give me the hardest kick of all, nothing much. I probably felt a little rubbing inside, but not the normal power kick.

I guess to much kicking, and he's too tired.

And morning came, which normally won't give me much of a feel of him kicking or moving, I was getting worried because he hasn't really kick. I was still waiting... then at about lunch time, I felt some slight movement, but still not the strong kick that I was expecting.

Finally the kick came, though it was just maybe 2-3 kicks, at least I felt much better knowing that he is still there with me. I get so worried he moved and kicked less. I read up that he could move less at days, so I'm hoping that he is perfectly fine, well protected by by fats and his amniotic fluid in my tummy. I'm only due to see the doctor in another 2 weeks, so I hope all is good. Seeing doctor every 4 weeks kinda paranoid you. I wish I can get back to the schedule where I see Dr F more often! Seeing his ultrasound scan showing the heart beat or him moving, really assured you that all is good. So in the meantime while waiting for the next appointment, it's all about him moving and kicking and your instinct that everything is alright.

FAQs to a pregger

Besides having strangers staring at your tummy, you will probably come across a lot of small talks from strangers - from the lady from your nearest supermarket, or the petrol station attendance, even the waitress during lunch.

You sometimes get acquaintances you have not spoken to ages asking you some intimate questions.

I sometimes felt uneasy having these strangers or acquaintances asking you questions like:

Are you pregnant?
I have some FB friends whom I've not spoken to in a lifetime asking me this question. I do appreciate the concern, thank you very much. But I find it a bit uneasy sharing it on FB in the beginning and I tried not to divulge too much. As I progress, I think I'm more at ease with this question.

How many months are you pregnant now? When is the baby due?
Errrr... I still find it uneasy having strangers asking me this because.... errrr.... you are not coming to the baby's birth in the hospital are you?

Is it a boy or a girl?
Totally private question that I only want to share with my family and friends. Some people are happy to share this, don't get me wrong, I do enjoy sharing with family and friends, but strangers... Seriously... Maybe it's just me. I mean when I found out an acquaintance is pregnant, I will say "Congratulations." I think I will hardly ask if it's a boy or girl.

Is it twins?
You see I'm one half of a Twins and everyone will assume I will have Twins or something! Gawd! It has NEVER cross my mind to ask other twins that they are having twins!! Why on earth these people ask silly question like this! Twins birth by nature is a miracle, it's something that doesn't necessary happen to twins mom! Come on!!!! I think I find it some what offensive because I tried so hard for so many years just to have this one precious little one in me now. How I wish too that when doctor did the ultrasound scan and he found 2 heart beat. I am still grateful to have one heart beat, and he is still my precious - even more so precious than precious.

How long are you married? (11 years now) Oh, what took you so long?
Gawd... getting pregnant is a very private matters. Just like why some couples decided never to have a child and you go asking "why not?" and gave one hell of a lecture. It's especially hard for me to answer that partly because we have gone through so many treatment to get to where we are today and I am not comfortable over-sharing our long treatment journey.

Oh you did IVF. Why not try for Twins?
I was like totally feeling the "WTF" almost came out of my month when someone I told that we did IVF to get pregnant. I had 4 embryos transferred and in the end I have this one precious surviving all odds. And I am grateful and thankful that this one precious made it this far. I seriously find this question WTF.

I've read articles where there are more annoying questions were asked to other preggers like:
- Are you going to have natural birth?
- Why are you doing a caesarian?
- You look big, are you x month pregnant?
- I bet it's a girl, isn't it? No, it's a boy. Really? But the way you carry certainly looks like a girl.
- Oh you are x months already. You still can't feel the baby kicking yet?

I'm sure the list can go on and on. So for now, I"m taking it easy, trying not to get annoyed. I'm trying my best to keep my raging hormone in check from time to time.

Worried about everything?

The moment you found out that you are pregnant, your worrying radar will increase by 100 folds, right? You'll be worried if the baby is gonna be healthy, or if you are eating enough or sleeping at the right position. You also start to get worried if you are putting on too much weight, or if you'll ever have stretch mark, or if you have breast milk to start breast feeding. Then when it's nearing to the day, you will start thinking about if you can go through natural birth or if the caesarian is going to be smooth.

After the birth, you will be worried for another 10, 20, 30, well maybe just forever!

I tried my best not to let my emotion take over me, be it now or later.

I think it is important that you have the support of your loved ones through this emotional period of pregnancy and eventually the upbringing of a child. I have a great husband who is by my side, my family that supports me in my decision, and friends who listen to all my nagging.

If you are doing this all by yourself, do not be discourage, there is always help out there. All you need to is take that first step and reach out for help.

How big am I?

For the first time after 25 weeks of pregnancy, I finally took the courage to pick up the measuring tape and measured my ever growing tummy. Thank goodness the measuring tape can still take my waistline!!!! And here it is - 40 inches! That is like HUGE!!!!! Never will I ever dream of reaching the 4x in my life!!!!!!!! I wonder by the end of my term, what will I measure?

I need to wee, again?!

Well, well, it turned out that my baby's favourite activity hasn't change after all! I thought that baby might have grown tired of stepping on my bladder, boy just when I'm happy about him retiring from doing it, he is back to his favourite pastime and return with a vengeance!!!

By now he has been doing his step exercise for more than long enough. I have been to the toilet for more than 4 times in the last hour!! I thought by the 3rd time, it's all emptied. Clearly I'm wrong! By the 4th time, I had more pee than before!!! How is that possible!!!

I get worried if he moved less but when he moves he does the unthinkable- having a great step exercise on my bladder.

His kicks are definitely stronger now by the day. I have not really look at how much if a movement is happening on my tummy physically, I have only placed my palm over it to feel. It's cool when he kicks but not when he is stepping on my bladder!

Baby, can we go back to sleep now? Or do I still have to get out of bed a few more times over the hour?

Is it Week 23 or Week 24?

We visited Dr F for review and showed him the report we got from Singapore as well. He explained the report and assured us that everything looks alright, the risk is very low. Good! But the strangest thing is during the ultrasound scan, the baby's growth is shown to be at week 23 instead of week 24. At that moment, I thought I got my weeks wrong (I realised that it is week 24 when I got home to check the diary) so I let it be.

I only recall Dr F said baby's femur measured at 4.95cm, the head's diameter is 5+cm, and the rest is blur... Oh and baby is now 600gm and I put on another 1kg since 4 weeks ago. The tone of Dr F about my weight gain seems to sound like I didn't put on enough, but boy I feel like a tonne!!!!

During the scan, baby was facing the back! I thought he's excited about seeing Dr F today because he was having a dance party right before we leave office for the appointment! So there is no face today in the scan from the clinic. Well, as long as he is well and healthy and growing. And my ever presence bump is getting bigger by the moment!

Sleeping position (again!)

Yes the ever on-going topic for me- sleeping position. This is my 2nd post, I've earlier mentioned in the another post that I sleep the way it pleases the little one.

We bought a Flopsy Cushion Pillow which is used to support my sleeping positions, especially I'm not much of a side sleeper, I find it quite useful! Or I can put it under my legs to keep those swollen feet up, or even perk myself up when I'm watching the TV while in bed, it's usefulness is up to your imagination. In fact, hubby unknowingly likes it too. I've seen him hugging it in the middle of the night when I put it aside. Knowing also that I can use it after the birth to be used for feeding or perking up the baby to sit up :)

I find this better than having a normal bolster (which we bought earlier on) because this pillow is curved and you can bend it anyway you like to make you comfy. It's not cheap, and I resisted getting the pillow. But hubby decided to still go ahead & buy it from the same shop were we got our stroller saying - it's a gift :) Well, no regret getting it though!!

Oh oh, besides having the Flopsy, I have another pillow that I will put below my burgeoning pillow - a Muji Neck Cushion. It is a neck cushion but I used unhooked it so it's longish where I can place it just nicely under. It's made out of microbeads and is highly "shape-able." When I use this under my belly then the Flopsy will be used on my back to keep me from rolling to my bed.

Funny though that sometimes I still managed to push everything away, and ended up in the morning on my back! Hahaha..

So the sleeping position is no longer just about pleasing the little boss but also to let me sleep with ease with this burgeoning tummy that is ever increasing in size by the day!!

Growing Feet

I had my puberty more than 15 years ago and no one ever told me that my shoe size is gonna grow with my belly! I can't fit into any of my pre-pregnancy shoes again! I have been wearing this pair of slippers everywhere I go, it's just so comfortable to wear!

I bought a pair of shoes that is one size bigger but it's not very comfy to wear too long hours - the feeling of squeezed toes aren't that very pleasant. I've got to find me open toes or sandals, the closed toes aren't all that comfy to wear anymore.

I wonder if this is just temporarily or it's gonna be permanent after birth.. and so I read and came to this conclusion: IT IS PERMANENTLY BIGGER!

It is because during pregnancy, there will be weight gain and swelling from the extra fluid your body retains while you're pregnant - called Edema. Then there is this pregnancy hormone relaxi which loosens the joints around the pelvis in preparation of the birth canal that also looses the ligaments in the feet causing them to spread. It's not really growing per se just "widening."

The swelling will go away after birth, but the loosen ligament will stay in the loosen form forever... So which means I either embrace the bigger sized feet or live with a bind feet hoping that they will go back to my old size. Thank goodness I don't own any Jimmy Choo!

Emotional?

I've read and heard many times that women are very emotional and delicate during the pregnancy. But so far, I have been able to keep my emotional intact.

Last night when I heard about the passing of my Tai Q, I have been holding back my emotional, so far just a bit of rolling tears. I tried not to be too emotional about it because I don't want it to affect the baby. Will he become a cry baby like mommy? And so I busted the myth about pregnant women being the most emotional bunch. Perhaps it's just an excuse that women want to be pampered?

Or I'm just not that of an emotional person?

I think throughout the pregnancy so far, I also busted another myth - CRAVINGS! Hahaha... so far I have none so serious that I have to ask hubby to drive out in the middle of the night to get me Maggie Goreng!

Falling sick

Is falling sick on non-pregnant days easier? I think so. At least you don't have to worry about taking prescriptions that could be harmful to the life growing in you. There are certainly many medications proven or to-be-proven harmful to unborn child in you! And there is no way know if the GP prescribed the right medications for you. So it is important to go go a trusted GP when you are sick! And if you are pregnant, remember to inform the GP that you are pregnant!

I started to have sore throat and I thought it was under control with the help of Manuka Honey, Lemon and 枇杷膏. But over the weekend, it got worse - coughing came. Then on Monday night, flu came. That was is, the battle is lost and I decided to finally go see a GP on Tuesday morning. So now, in the morning I have flu and phlegm medications, then at night I have extra cough medications (I only take at night because the cough mostly affect me at night only).

Immediately after my first dosage, I felt the phlegm is slowing going away - my nose is less stuffed up and it's certainly not making me cough as much- which is good! So I continued the medications for night which include the cough, but it's not much use since I woke up every on and off to cough and sip a bit of water. In fact, I finished 450ml of water and I had to refill the bottle in the middle of the night!

But at least I find the medication is helping me, easing my flu and chesty cough. Now I just need to drink more water. And hopefully I don't need to finish the 5 days medications that doctor prescribed.

Oh I think I cough so much that my stomach muscle aches. I believe it's because each time I cough, I cringed my tummy. I even hold onto my tummy when I cough - I know the baby is well protected by the amniotic fluid, I just want him to feel better by "holding" onto him and make him feel secure. Well, that's just me :)

Tonight is movie night with hubby! Yaye!!

BellaBand

I have earlier bought a BellaBand after reading it's usefulness. I wore it maybe once or twice when my tummy wasn't that big yet, so felt that it's under-utilised. Today, as I was going through my wardrobe for clothes to wear to work, I have too many casual wear! HAHAHAHA. I took out a pair of slacks and give it a try and I can't even zip it up even for a bit!!!! When that's when BellaBand comes useful. I wore the BellaBand over my pants and ta-da! I still can wear my slack. (Which also means my thighs and buttocks have not been putting on weight! YES!!!)

Some might find BellaBand slightly on the expensive side, especially here in Malaysia/Singapore, there are other options of similar bellyband. I went around looking at other brands before deciding on BellaBand. I find that Bellaband's material is thicker hence can hold your pants/skirt in place better. You don't want the bellyband to start rolling up while you are seated and exposing your unzip pants/skirts! With thicker material in the BellaBand means the elasticity is gonna last longer and it should hold your tummy comfortably until full term. In our hot climate, some might find that BellaBand is a bit too thick to wear, since I will mostly wear it over my working pants, and I work in air-conditioned office... why not right? Besides, I will not stay in hot/warm condition for too long, I don't think I can take it either!

The other reason for getting is also when your tummy grows bigger, you will be needing some support. I guess that's why some preggers hold their tummy as they walk. So with BellaBand, it will also supports your burgeoning tummy in place.

It's only week 15

25 more weeks to go to the big day!

I went for a antenatal diagnostic center for a check up, I was prepared mentally if the doc will ask me to do the amnio test! Needles, how big can that be right? Besides, I have been through more needles, so that more is this one!

As I lay down on the examination bed, I can see this huge hi-tech Siemens machine next to me. I don't see needles, yet... then when doc came in, all he did was scan! He scanned everything from head to toe, from nose to spine, from waist to kidney, from left limb to right limb, etc. At one stage during the scan, I can see that the baby is sucking his/hers thumb. It was such heart-melting moment to see that. After a while, I think doc wants to scan something but baby wasn't cooperating. He not-so-gently pressed the scanner deeper and said "move baby move" =.="

And half way during the scan, doc laughed and asked if we want to know the sex of the baby. He was marking something on the screen and type... I still can't say yet because I have friends betting the sex of the baby!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! So, it shall remain a secret until later stage for now :)

Dr Appointment Rescheduled

Last Friday was the scheduled doc appointment in Singapore but last minute in the morning, I received a call from the clinic that doc won't be coming and is being rescheduled :(

We still had to go to Singapore because we've booked a nice hotel to stay, so we are just gonna chill and enjoy our anniversary. And we did enjoy the hotel room so much! HAHAHA.. the bed was nice, spacious room, quiet environment, and best of all, it was raining in the morning the next day. So we took our time to get out of bed.

So... I'm all set and ready to go into Singapore again - and bear with all the terrible traffic at the causeway. Sigh~

Amniocentesis

Amniocentesis is a prenatal test only to be performed by reputable medical practitioners to gather information about the baby's health from a sample of the amniotic fluid - the fluid that surrounds the baby comfortably while in the uterus.

The reason to have an amnio is to pre-determine if the baby has certain genetic disorders or chromosomal abnormality such as Down Syndrome.

The test is performed while the Mama is in the 2nd trimester (between 14-16 weeks, as per Dr F). Well this is an option test, not a compulsory test to be carried out. I was all set to see a Dr this Friday, but until recently I started to think about it... Does it make any difference for knowing? Will it affect my pregnancy journey? I suddenly have second thought about getting the test done.

Another doubt came when I read about how the procedure is done. Basically a needle is inserted into the mother's abdominal wall with the aid of ultrasound, the sac is punctured and the amniotic acid is extracted. It's scary having a needle poking INTO your tummy and puncturing the sac... What if it is overdone and the fluid would not stop flowing?! That thought kinda put me of risking the life of BB.

Until now, the appointment is still set but I'm still having some doubt :(

Getting comfortable with your Doctor

I think it is very important to feel comfortable while you seek medical opinion with any doctor. I was fortunate to have Dr C as my first doctor who diagnose my fibroid when we seek medical opinion regarding fertility. He is one of the top notch fertility doctor in the country. I had such confident in him that I did not seek out a second opinion. I do think sometimes you might need to seek second opinion especially if you are not comfortable with your first diagnostic or you need subsequent prognosis of your condition.

Then I had Dr F when we moved to JB. He is a nice doctor who has all the patience in the world to explain everything in details. His friendliness definitely ease your mind when you are tensed up by all the questions in the world you are gonna ask him.

There was once that Dr F was away, and Dr S came from KL to replace him for a couple of days. I was not comfortable with Dr S. It was a follow-up of my cysts review but the moment he spoke, he said it could be cancerous.... DO YOU KNOW SCARY THAT SOUNDS?? Dr F never scare me that way! I mean you only see me once, and by looking at ONE ultrasound scan you scare the wit out of me. From then on, I had to make sure that if Dr F is going for vacation, I will wait for his return!

Since Dr F return then, it was all good. He did my cyst removal. He adviced us on next course of action - with all the IUI and IVF. Throughout the process, he explained as much as he can and he cleared all the doubt that we had. Even after 1 failed IUI & 1 failed IVF, I trust that he will be able to come up with a better prognosis and treatment for me.

So for anyone you out there, always see a doctor that you have comfortable with. And not just for the name-sake of him/her referred to by your friends, or just because the clinic/hospital is near your house, ALWAYS remember you need to trust your doctor. When in doubt, seek a second opinion.

I've got to pee

I know when you are pregnant, the frequency to use the bathroom automatically increased by many many folds. I tried not to drink too much water at night so I won't need to wake up so much in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. But last night... oh boy oh boy oh boy... Even when I didn't drink much water, I had to wake up every 2 hours to pee!

Why so much pee... Apparently, it's due to the hormonal changes that cause blood to flow more quickly through your kidneys, filling your bladder more often. And over the course of the pregnancy, the amount of blood in mummy's body increases. This leads to lots more extra fluid getting processed through the kidneys and ending up in the bladder.

And eventually when the baby grows inside, the pressure on the bladder is not helping you to hold you pee-pee in.

But why some will pee more at night? Well, I read that it's because as you lie down in bed, he fluid that you retained in your legs and feet during the day makes its way back into your bloodstream and eventually into your bladder. Yaye to more liquid heading your bladder way!