All my jabs...

I store all my medicine to jabs in a mid-size Tupperware to be kept in the fridge - making sure it's fresh! HAHA! The main reason I kept it in the Tupperware is to make sure all my meds are in one place and easy storage purpose.

The pen-like thingie, is my Gonal-F. The one (not visible) in the box is my busereline. And the vials are my Menopur.

Every morning, I'll take my meds out from the fridge, let it "thaw" a bit. Dr F said sometimes I feel the pain when I inject is because the "cold solution" being injected. The censor below the skin can only feel pain, and not cold. So anything else is PAIN. Pretty interesting fact!

This is how many jabs I had to administer myself:










This is the mess after:

Here we go again...

This is Round 2. Round 1 had to be "abandon" after discovery (well, or the lack of it) of only 2 follicles. I was on Microgynon for 18 days and on day 22 (16 Sept), I started Burseline jab again. This time one for the morning, one for the afternoon.

Then today onwards until next Tue, besides having the 2 Buserelin, I have my Gonal-F & Menopur. So, all in all is 4 needles in a day.

How do I feel? Hmmm... I am still not afraid of the needles (yet)! I will normally take a few deep breath before the jab to calm myself, say a short prayer "God, grant me the strength." And easy breezy~ I don't know if it's side-effect of the jab, but I am feeling tired for most part of the day. Probably because I had to conjure all the energy that is left in me to go through the jab, I don't know... Anyway, I feel fine and I WILL PREVAIL!!!!

IVF - is it that scary?

Am just watching Giuliana & Bill, and they are going through the phase about going into IVF. It is a big decision but is it as scary? I am thankful that my family is there along the way and that put my mind in ease and had no problem making that decision to go through IVF. So it is important that you are ready and have the support of your family otherwise it's gonna be difficult. You've got to be physically and mentally ready for the long and difficult process.

I have my hubby, my family and God with me all the way so to me NO it's not scary!

What is IVF?

Well, now that I have 2 more months before I restart my treatment, I've decided to do more research to understand IVF better. An overview of IVF...

IVF, In vitro fertilisation is a process where the eggs are fertilised by sperm outside the womb. The main treatment for IVF is infertility when all other methods of normal or assisted reproductive technology failed. For my case, we did an IUI before. Instead of giving it another go, I had my cyst removed and went straight to IVF. Now, the whole process of IVF includes hormonally controlled ovulation process, retrieval of eggs from the ovaries and fertilising them with your partner's sperm. Once the eggs are fertilised, they are they transferred back to the female's uterus. My first treatment stopped at "hormonally controlled ovulation."

During which blood tests were carried out for hormonal measurement, ultra-scans took place to scan for the growth of follicles, hormones jabs were given to control and stimulate follicle growth. It's a long and difficult process that will strain your physically and mentally. Sometime, you might develop needle phobia! (I learn a new word today: Trypanophobia - for fear of medical procedure involving injections/needles)

Abandon...

After poking myself for n-number of days, today's doctor review was - "Abandon treatment" I saw Dr F writing that down on my patient's folder. The rest of the content - I just couldn't make up of the rest of the doctor's handwriting.

I visited the doc 2 days ago for follow-up after 5 days of Gonal-F jab. The jab is suppose to help "manufacture" more follicles than the usual cycles. But the scan showed 2 on the left and none on the right ovaries. So Dr F ordered a blood test to check on my hormone levels. He gave me a "booster jab" for 2 days to see if it will help.

So today (2 days after my last visit), I went back to see Dr F for another scan. Well, it turned out that it's still the same 2 follicles on the left ovaries and nothing on the right. And the 2 follicles are 12mm (I think it's mm) but the ideal size should be around 17mm by now. Dr F was really thorough with the scan, making sure that he didn't miss any follicles hidden somewhere.

Even after much effort, nothing... So Dr F sat me down and this is when he told me that we should stop the treatment for this cycle. He mentioned that there are not enough follicles to be harvested, and the lesser the follicles/eggs, the success rate is even lower. So it's best not to proceed for this cycle.

What's next? Well, Dr F said to let my menstrual come and then I should see him again on Day 2 or 3. But he said to continue the treatment after 2 menstrual cycle. But next month, I still need to go on the contraceptive pills.

So... as of now, I don't need to do any jab, no medications... let my body to the work for now. And rest my poor needle-hole-filled tummy...

Day 13 of Jab

It has been 13 days of smooth sailing. I hope. My schedule is waking up daily at 8am(well, sometimes 15mins later due to late night watching World Cup...), even before I clean up myself, I will tip-toed to the fridge to grab my solution and walked back up. My gear:

- My supply of alcohol-soaked cotton
- 1ml Syringe (which I only need .5)
- 5.5ml Suprefact



I might have become the expert in drawing the .5ml (well, maybe sometimes .53ml or . 58ml)from the bottle - without bubble. I've mastered the technique after 11 days. YES, after 11 tries, I finally got it perfect without having to draw it and only to release it and then do it many many many times to get rid of the smallest tiniest air bubble.

Well, you see... You are suppose to remove the cap from the syringe, and pull the plunger and push it again to release all the air. And then you insert the needle to the bottle to draw the solution. Sounds easy right? NOT! Each time you pull the plunger, you will see air bubble forming. Then you have to push it all back in again... Dang... Everytime I had to repeat the steps over and over again.

Well because the quality of the syringe is a bit (ahem) elcheapo so even after pushing the plunger to the edge, there is bound to be some bit of air that is still stuck. So, as you insert the syringe into the bottle of solution, suggest that you push the plunger with ALL YOUR MIGHT to get rid of the air inside the syringe. YES, push with your fingers and push it till you feel the pain at your finger tip. But beware, if you push too hard, your syringe will push against the bottle, and air will get into your bottle and form BIG bubbles. So be gentle yet firm. Yes, it's quite a feat trying to accomplish the perfect solution extraction from the bottle.

And when you extract the solution, pull back the plunger slowly and steadily. And tada~ the perfect extraction!

Just like previously - Pinch, jab & release... Slowly releasing the solution by pushing the plunger, don't rush it. I find that by slowly pushing it will be a lot less painful. After you think you've got all the solution into you, think again... now you need to really push the plunger as hard as you can ensuring all the solution is totally released. Then count backward from 10, 9, 8, 7.... 2, 1. Slowly pull out the syringe. Ah~ That's it for the day.

I don't remember doctor telling me to lay down for a while after the jab, but that's what I will do. Give yourself a gentle tummy rub as you lay down - this gives you a "happy" feeling, sort of a comforting feeling :)

New jab starts...

Ok, had my first Suprefact jab yesterday. It was a bit of a mess. Since the jab this time is using the normal syringes, I have to hold it at the right position making sure there is no air bubble - which I failed miseably! I had to redo it a couple of times to make sure there is no air bubble. I have no idea how the nurse can get it right in the first place! At first it was just one small bubble, so tried the different techniques the nurse taught me to get rid of the air bubble... but it goes worst! I had to redo it all over again and still there is one small tiniest bubble! ARGh!!! So... in the end, I had to enroll the help of hubby. He is much better than me in this. HAHAHA.

Anyway, we got it all under control. So I jab myself... as before... PINCH & JAB! But maybe because this time I'm a bit more careful since it's syringe-type. I would prefer the pen type at anytime because it's less messy, easier to manage & most of all the needle is shorter! Anyway.... I pinch as hard as I can but when it's JAB time, the needle just won't go in. Maybe I'm afraid of needles already??? OH NO!!!!! I hope not because there are 16 more jabs to go...

So I brace myself, and slowly jab myself... And it HURTS! Since it's 0.5ml, it's a lot of liquid and it flows really slowly. It felt like ages! I was a bit scared I guess, so I was doing it slowly & inserting the liquid steadily at turtle speed I guess.

Anyway.... I did it! It wasn't pleasent but I shall prevail!!!!