Been so long

I have not written about anything for so long and today marks a not so happy day. Though I am still hoping that the test is wrong and tomorrow blood test will show the more accurate result. All the signs on my body is telling me that this round is not successful again.

I have the feeling of my period is coming today and I don't recall having such "strong" feeling last time. I knew I had some pain but this definitely felt like my period is coming.

I won't put the blame on anyone or anything, maybe it's just not time yet. I was very relaxed about this cycle and of course was hoping for a positive result but it seems not likely.

Last time I did the test the day before and it was already showing positive result. But today, it's not the same.

I hate this Clear Blue pregnancy test that says "Not Pregnant". It's such a such disappointment for people like me. It almost felt like a slap on the face. I think I should just stick to the lines type.

Cycle stopped

We went back to see doctor on day 9. During the scan, there was no visible follicles shown. So Dr F decided to do a blood test and we had to return in 2 hours. The blood test is called Estradiol test, or E2 test. 

So Estradiol (E2) is the primary estrogen, the major female reproductive hormone, and is produced in the ovaries. As they grow and develop, the egg follicles produces estradiol. We need at least 200pg/ml to show there is follicle growth at this stage. 

Upon returning, the test result was really low, like 50pg/ml. Low beyond low. So we had to abandon this cycle. 

We had a discussion about what's next and what are our options. So for now, I will go on a month of DHEA. In hope that this will enhance my follicle and egg development. 

DHEA is a natural hormone produced by the adrenal glands, the glands that sit on top of the kidneys and produce hormones in response to stress. They also produce androgens, or male hormones, in both men and women and DHEA is one of these.  One of its functions is to act as a precursor for the production of the predominant female sex hormone, oestrogen: DHEA is converted to oestrogen by the ovaries. 

DHEA replacement can increase the levels in the blood and potentially have an effect on the growing follicles in the ovaries to be converted to the female sex hormone, oestrogen.

So here goes to a month of pills!

Suddenly...

I felt so disappointed. It didn't hit me earlier on but I can't help but feeling disappointed that there is only one follicle on Day 6 then I have 2-3 on previous cycles. I'm not feeling exactly positive right now. Sigh...

Day 6 review

After 5 days of these jabs, today is review day. During the scan, it only showed one follicle developing on the left ovaries and none can be seen on the right. When Dr F checked on our previous cycle, it seemed to be similar case. We can't be sure if there will be more and nothing will happen. If based on previous cycle, we should be able to see more in the next couple of days.

Dr F was contemplating to see us back on Day 9 (before the weekend) or Day 11 (after the weekend). I guess he chose Day 9 just to be sure I am responding to the treatment and that more follicles are really forming.

So now besides the Gonal F and Menopur, I have to jab daily the growth hormone (which I had on a weekly basis last month).

Here we go!

Today we went to see Dr F for next course of action. And so... here we go. I will be on Gonal F and Menopur for 5 days and will need to return on day 6 for review.

I want to make sure that Andrew won't feel neglected since he has been showered with undivided attention from us, especially me, since the day he was born. I will still care for him unconditionally, but the attention will be halved if we have a new member. I will still do what we do, putting him to nap, making his milk/meal, do all kinds of activity with him, shower with him, etc. And I know it's easier said than done especially since a new born will take up all my energy. Anyway, it's too soon to worry. But I will do my best to make sure he gets my love no less!

First flight (with own seat)

My baby has grown so much that he is now eligible for a seat of his own on a flight. We took a short flight (less than an hour), just the two of us. I wasn't sure if I could handle it if Andrew decided to throw tantrums or cried from the pressure on the plane. Thank goodness it went on smoothly.

First thing first, the moment we sat down, I put on the seat belt for Andrew then myself. While waiting for take off, we entertained ourselves with in-flight reading :) Then not long after the taxi off, I gave him something to munch. He was ok with the taking off. In fact, he fell asleep not long after that! And it was uneventful all the way. Andrew slept through the landing and woke up only when the plane came to a total stop! Awesome right!!

Overall, I'm glad it was uneventful and I hope Andrew enjoyed his flight.

First jab for Project 2.0

The blood test taken showed that I have normal amount of eggs reserve but it is at the low side of normal. With some discussion and calculation of my period, we decided to kick start immediately. So, first thing is to have myself injected with growth hormone in hope of getting better quality and healthier eggs. Since during last IVF, I only managed to have less than 5 eggs, so instead of aiming for quantity, we are going for quality now.

I had the first jab on 12 July 2014. I'm not sure what is the dosage but it's "25 clicks" on the pen. In the meantime, I am also taking Vitamin D, Folic Acid and Omega 3. I will need to have 2 more growth hormone jab on the next 2 Saturdays!